layers - no more masturbation

Yeah.  I'm trying to quit.  It is sooo difficult.  I am a horny teenage boy, what can I say?  I'm trying to quit as part of the Lenten season.  Having the internet doesn't help at all!  Sometimes I wish my parents actually had those child safety/content interet advisors so that I couldn't access all the porn.  I'm afraid that I'll never be able to quit completely, but I swear that I will drastically lower my...uh rate.  In case you haven't noticed, I'm into self-improvement (quitting masturbation, working out, learning computer crap, developing morals...).

My main problem is that I don't avoid chances for masturbating.  Anytime I'm know.  Also, both my dad and step-dad have magazines and videos that I have trouble resisting.  Most people consider masturbation as being "healthy" and "normal".  Well, I don't feel healthy after masturbating.  I feel selfish, perverted, and really pathetic.  Also, there's that "post-orgasmic chill" when the very concept of sex seems disgusting.

People who masturbate are not evil, and I'm not an angel because I'm trying to quit.  Masturbation is a sin against the (I forget the number) commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery."  (That's right. For those of you who don't know, each commandment actually entails more than you think.)

Are entire floor at Missouri Scholars Academy started discussing masturbation (that was too awkward!), and one of the other boys said that he had been jack-off-free for 9 months.  However, the group conversation seemed to get him really excited...I hope he didn't start up again. ;)  He was one of my uh..."inspirations" to quit.  If he could do it, why can't I??

So far, I'm not doing too good... I slowly lowered my rate down to 2 times per week, but then it shot back up again.  I can keep the rate down during the week--it's the weekends, when I've got a lot of time alone, that I lose control.

I think I'm done with this.